Let me elaborate.

If you're angry enough to kill someone, I think it should be yourself.

Why? Because I believe it's only a temporary outlet and you're only going to keep doing it, so might as well just make it you, your life your decision.

....

I say that because last night I was drinking coffee with Julian and he said if he was me he'd kill someone, for some reason it stuck with me because when I was at the psych ward they'd always ask me a series of messed up serious questions.. Whether or not I was homicidal was one of them.

Do you know what it's like to wake up and get put in handcuffs?

It sucks because when you rip open your eyes and tear out some eyelashes in consequence of crying your eyes out the night before, cops interpret "What did I do?" as resisting. They put your handcuffs on really tight, put you in the back of the big CPD van which looks like a cage, then they drive you to the west side to a psych ward you've never been to before and tell you,
"If you don't belong here, don't worry."

I'm not worried, I'm sad, and I can't believe this. After this happens 4 times you start to wonder if it will ever stop. Things get worse, and you don't have hope you're just stalling.