Not my ideal Sunday activity

I'd like to start off the blog of this month by talking about America.

America is like a prison, we do things mandatory,

And if we don't they throw us aside,

Like rag dolls.

If you don't make those tokens, you get laid off,

You're fucked, yeah sure, they say the system will help you but since when has any of the people who are doing fine ever given a turd about you? If you don't fit in, they find someone who will, everyone is easily replaced. If you have a different opinion, you're fucked. If you dress differently, you're fucked. If you choose an occupation that doesn't make a lot of money but makes you happy, you're fucked. If you can't memorize, you're fucked, and out to the military you go to fight for rich assholes who start wars for private advantage. They'll send you to academies that'll train you to be like a dog, loyal, they'll teach you people skills that'll give you stress acne, and you'll give your life for them, in exchange for a shitty college. Not to mention they also teach "Leader & Follower" skills, bullshit, your capabilities are absolutely endless, figure it out. I say figure it out but if you can't do it because of a current situation I believe in time, there's always time, especially when you're young and confused. But again, America wants dogs and slaves to society, anyone who wants real freedom is replaced by someone who simply doesn't care. I care, I wish more people did, because just like the KONY 2012 scam made a shit ton of money and got publicity, so can problems like these, but no, we care more about problems that are already over more than veterans on the street, or people offing themselves, or anyone's genuine feelings. 

This is a sad, sad backwards country, and nobody speaks up.

Enough about zombies. 

I've been a bit sick lately, I also got kicked out but I should be back by the end of the week, I'm not even getting into what happened, but it's been crazy. I've been staying with my best friend and he's starting to reeeeeaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyy annoy the shit out of me. I also can't drink for the next 8 days for I'm on some penicillin pills for my swollen gland, so, as you can imagine, he's hard to deal with, always trying to piss somebody off.. The owners of the apartment that I call home say that I can't have Mars there anymore but I'm doing my best to change that, they have no real reason, but regardless it'll be a tough one, I don't know what the heck I'd do with out him, I tear at the thought. 

Tim and I are still together and fantastic, his other family members want to meet me, I'm iffy but I think it'll be okay. Also, I made a new friend (insert happy face here) his name's Julian, he's adorable! And we're similar enough, funny thing is I met him through one of my ex's at a jamming/drink session he bought me a 40 before I even met him so we were already on perfect terms, thennnnnnnnnnn I was looking through his Ipod and I found one of my favorite bands, but he had only ONE of their best albums, so I made him take notes on the better ones and the newest, then I recommended some other beautiful bands for him to give a listen to, then he showed me some stuff, and I actually liked it. A few days later we hung out and he reminded me of myself, we kind of talk the same and get our hearts broken over pretty idiots, we also have poor judgement when someone is talking sweet. Is it bad for me to say I love him? It's like saying I love myself, I do love myself, but I also hate myself, I'm good, but in someways I'm bad, I'm only good with what I think is important, and I don't care about my benefits.

I care about happiness, and as cheesy as it sounds, it's universal happiness. 

We laid in my backyard other night looking up and talking about life and struggles.

I felt comfortable and I'm not usually comfortable around people, in person at least, I  have horrid people skills. Sorry this is all blurted out, oh, by the way, Julian also spilled a beer on my Mac the second time we hung out, so RIP Macbook. You were the best homo that ever entered my life.

I'm currently using Tim's laptop hence why I'm not spending much time on here as usual I'm not even comfortable around new pieces of technology. Pft. Good morning.

Rationalizing a decision? It's just your imagination talking.

It's either you do or you don't.

Nothing else matters.

I recently joined a group of rappers,

I know, unbelievable but thy all seem to really dig my stuff, unless I'm coming at someone else in the group, I wrote a rap saying I was going to shoot some chick in the head if she ever spit about Big E again, I just got so angry.... I'm tired of all these people who never knew him talking about him.

She called his death a 'routine' amongst 'teens'... Eric wasn't even a teenager.

Of course I wasn't serious, I just needed to get my emotions out through writing violently. Haha

My dieting and working out is going quite splendidly, I bought fusion extensions too.

This summer is going to be amazing, I'm going to be walking around in swimsuit tops all freakin' summer with short shorts, I really don't even need to diet but I just want to lose a few pounds quick and get a bit more toned. I mainly want to lose weight on my arms, they're muscular but my mom says they're really bulky, I guess that's frowned upon on young women.

Mars is getting better at going inside :) I just stand on the stairs point and say "Go." and he'll trot right inside. He's becoming a giant! Yesterday we went on a 4 hour walk with my friend Guy and this lady was like "WOAH, BADASS DOG, I LIKE THAT. BADASS FREAKIN' DOG!" I was like, "Hell yeah" :D Other people just asked how old he was.

Guy, Mars, and I walked so far we ended up in one of the bad Mexican neighborhoods.

You could totally tell the difference from my part of Chicago and that one, the neighborhood just gradually got less pretty and more rundown looking.

There was two guys following us and making weird noises so Mars would look back every five seconds, eventually, Mars decided to poop on the sidewalk and one of them stepped in it >:] I laughed at that guy for 10 minutes, but that didn't stop him from following and making noises, so we stopped, waited for them to pass us, they were really quiet, and just turned the corner fast.

You'll find some odd people in Chicago, from the racist trippin' bum on the bus to wiggers who think they have balls, to hipsters. Hipsters are EVERYWHERE now, I can't even look at them, they're so late. I swag it out in my big combat boots with my long dark hair.

You're either old, wigger, hipster, polish, prep, or me.

The only place I feel at home is at The Alley, I'm thinking about working there >:) That's where I got my newest pair of combat boots, oh they're so beautiful <3

Tim ignored me for two days so I got really upset and said a lot of mean things...

A.K.A. "Go date some orange Christian bitch with blond hair who has her diploma and a major in dick sucking." I guess he feels bad about the whole thing because he called me three times last night while I was sleeping. I cried myself to sleep :/ I love him but he really pisses me off sometimes, I hate being ignored, it makes me feel like I'm alone even when I'm with someone, like there's no more hope.

I'm a teenager... I've got problems.