I've been in the same spot for what feels like so long.
I'm quitting smoking, and I've been working out a lot more.
I'm getting an eight week old puppy named Mars in three weeks.
Which makes me feel great because I'll have a little ball of black and brown fluff to hangout with.
I started screaming again, and singing a lot more. I started laughing again, and I mean laughing hard.
I'm starting to feel infinite again, it's getting easy to talk, to breath, to think.
For a little while there I thought I was just going to die, I was hopeless.
I'm proud of myself for getting stronger, now I can get myself on the right track.
I started listening to The Listener and I listen to The Chariot religiously, it's music that makes me feel it, it's so beautiful, and passionate. It makes me want to go back to church like I used to, and go on those retreats occasionally. The thing is that those people aren't very passionate though, they preach and preach, and spend all their time learning how to 'properly' preach and in the mix they forget.. They forget what made them start in the first place, I see it. I never want to be like that, I always want to remember, and feel, and love. I want to grow, and break, and come back stronger. I want to experience everything. That's my only problem. Eventually I'll sort it all out though, not while I'm sitting here writing this.
I changed my hair again, I dyed it all jet black, left a purple streak, and got a little side cut, I usually tie it into a loose braid so it all comes out wavy then clip a little peacock feather on the side.
I'll probably keep my hair like this for awhile, no more bleaching and bright colored hair for me.
My arms are more toned now, I intimidate some of my male friends, it's cute.
I shadow box, lift weights, do tons of push-ups, sit-ups, and I go running.
It feels good.
I feel good.
