I had to give Mars up, Tim and I broke up, and...
I don't even want to get into it.
Why do things happen? I think it makes me angry because I know these things are going to happen, and I'm left wondering what's the point? I don't mess with you, you don't mess with me. You leave my life as is, and I wont tell you to fuck yourself. Currently, I'm attending a day program at a psych ward called Hartgrove, they're teaching me not to be sad about Mars, or my family, or losing people I loved.. I wish they could teach me how to not be sad about my heart and it's tendency to to care for boys who are abstracted and confused. Maybe I'm bitter because I swear 'love' means so much more than everyone thinks, I want him to tell my intuition to go fuck itself.
I'm worn out, and my only outlet is gone, in some other home. I don't sleep, I barely eat, and the only thing that hasn't let me down at this point is coffee. Is this how I'm going to die? Slowly fucking myself with cigarettes, coffee, and lack of sleep. I should have seen this coming.
I wish he could love me more than the attention, I'm brand new now, but eventually I'll dull and fade, then he'll cut me out for someone who was already in or is newer, different. How could those girls just let him go by like that? and why are they coming back now, when my life is messy, and I'm doing my best to be happy with what I've got.
I wish he could love me more than the attention, I'm brand new now, but eventually I'll dull and fade, then he'll cut me out for someone who was already in or is newer, different. How could those girls just let him go by like that? and why are they coming back now, when my life is messy, and I'm doing my best to be happy with what I've got.
