I've started a new life, if you're reading this now, know that before I was different.. I know I have dimmed since I came back to Chicago I've gotten a lot more angry, I cry everyday, whether it's for a second, or hours on end, I buy some things so I can break them.. I've never told anyone that before until now, I don't know if it's the sound of things crashing, the force I put into it, the smell, or seeing things I break that makes me feel okay.
Since I came here, I've been hurt so much, deceived, and disappointed, I'm a real sucker for a sweet talker. I used to fall in love at first kiss after hours and hours of talking to someone, I love knowing people, but I guess they just don't love knowing me.
Since I came here, I've been hurt so much, deceived, and disappointed, I'm a real sucker for a sweet talker. I used to fall in love at first kiss after hours and hours of talking to someone, I love knowing people, but I guess they just don't love knowing me.
I look forward to the day someone just stays with me.
Goodbyes hurt me every time, because I always feel like I'll never see you again.
I have nightmares all the time, and if you wake me up the wrong way, I'll elbow you in the face. Only my mother and my best friend know how to wake me up without me freaking out.
There's another thing, coming to Chicago wasn't all that bad, I made a friend, his name is Mattapuss, he's my hero, former lover, therapist, babysitter, partner in crime, the one person I couldn't hurt, someone I'd walk to the end of the earth for, and my best friend.
He's the only thing that keeps me here, Matt is my stability.
I probably sound like a wimp.. But know I'm not, if you get me upset and you mean nothing to me I'll tear you apart.
